If you’re looking at an empty page and thinking, “What should I say to my daughter?” you’ve got company.
We know how challenging it can be to write letters to your kids.
Self-doubt creeps in, and you wonder if the words you can think of will mean the same to them as they do to you.
After all, you’ve made mistakes (every parent does), and you want your daughter to know how proud you are of the woman she’s becoming.
You’re just not sure where to begin.
How Can I Express My Love to My Daughter?
You’re trying to write a “proud of my daughter letter,” and while loving words are coming to mind, none of them look right on the page.
How do you express what you’re feeling in words your daughter will receive as you intend?
You need to know this: letters to your daughter don’t have to be long.
They don’t have to be perfectly worded, either. Every parent struggles (often enough) to articulate their love for and pride in their children. Things get in the way:
- Guilt over past mistakes
- Fear of saying the wrong thing
- Anxiety over getting the words right
You don’t have to be brilliant at this. The important thing is to try.
What Do You Write in a Letter to Your Daughter?
If you’re struggling to think of sweet things to say to your daughter, let our list of general topics jog your memory:
- Pride
- Support
- Respect
- Admiration
- Love
- Memories
The sentiments listed below are more specific. But sometimes, all you need is a word to get your thoughts flowing again.
Keep in mind, your first draft (as in all things written) doesn’t have to be perfect. Look at it as something to work with. If it helps, make a list of “words for my daughter” that inspire you or remind you of her lovely qualities.
Keep the list handy and draw from when you want to write her something she can keep close.
Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider
Add these to your personal file for “letters to daughter from mother” or “inspirational letter to daughter from father” (though you probably have better file names).
These are more specific but not so narrowly focused you can’t make them your own.
1. “I am so proud of you!”
Everyone wants their parents to be proud of them — even to brag about them to anyone willing to listen.
Who doesn’t love to know that mom or dad bragged to a friend or relative about their child’s accomplishments?
Keep in mind the reason for your pride matters, too. If you gush over your daughter’s beauty, for example, but ignore the merits of her mind or personality, she’ll notice.
Being proud of the authentic person your daughter is gives her the validation she deserves and craves from you.
2. “You continually amaze me.”
This statement is similar to the previous sentiment but with some awe mixed in. You look at your daughter and think, “What will she do next? Just when I think she can’t surprise me anymore (in the best way)… she does!” You want her to know that, too.
She wants to believe you’re paying attention and are impressed by what she’s accomplished and genuinely interested in what she has in the works.
3. “I have no doubt you’ll do great things because….”
Let your daughter know she’s taught you to expect great things of her. At the same time, be sure to tell her that she doesn’t have to keep raising the bar to earn her pride.
You just won’t be (as) surprised if she does. And you’ve already got a lifetime of reasons to be proud and curious about what she’s up to.
4. “I love you with all my heart and soul.”
You’ve probably said “I love you” more times than you can remember, but it can’t hurt to let your daughter know those words aren’t just something you say to end a conversation.
Let her know your love goes deeper and colors every thought you have about her. She occupies a place in your heart designed especially for her. And she always will.
5. “You are beautiful — inside and out.”
Every girl wants to know she’s beautiful to someone, and what her parents think of her matters. It might feel awkward to let her know you think she’s attractive, adorable, beautiful, or gorgeous, but it’s still good to hear (or read).
More than that, let her know her beauty goes deeper than what she sees in the mirror.
6. “You always do your best, and I love that about you.”
It’s essential to communicate to your daughter that this matters more to you than her grades or other noteworthy accomplishments.
If she feels rewarded for doing her best, she’s more likely to continue from early childhood well into her adult years.
You’ve noticed her doing the best she can, whatever the circumstances. And you’ve no doubt she’s leaving the world better than it was, starting with her effect on you.
7. “You’re braver / stronger / smarter than you realize.”
When your daughter doubts herself, let her know you see her strength, courage, and brilliance even when she doesn’t. Give her some examples of moments when she displayed these qualities.
And let her know you admire those traits, and you know others will, too.
Every child wants to know their parents see these qualities in them. If you do, it helps your daughter to see those qualities in herself.
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8. “I love your passion, independence, and drive.”
Let her know you’ve noticed she goes after what she wants. Show her you value not only her accomplishments but the character and personality behind them.
She may be past the point of saying, “Watch me, Mommy,” but she still wants to know she’s important enough to notice.
And while you probably haven’t noticed everything, what you have noticed makes you prouder than you can express. But you’ll still try.
9. “Where did you get your confidence/courage/patience? And can I have some?”
Let her know you admire these qualities in her and how you’ve noticed them.
You can add what experience has taught you about the importance of these qualities and how they will serve your daughter well in her relationships and everything she does.
Knowing you’ve noticed can give her extra motivation to continue cultivating all three.
10. “Never settle for less than what you truly want.”
You want your daughter to have the best, and that includes her relationships.
Encourage her to get clear on the qualities she wants to see in her friends and her partner, and stress the importance of not settling for less than she genuinely wants.
Encourage her, too, to get comfortable with her own company, so she won’t be in too great a hurry to become part of a couple.
She doesn’t need a partner to go after her goals. And she has nothing to prove to anyone.
11. “I remember the day you were born….”
Share some details you remember fondly from the day she was born. One day she may have memories of her own to share with her own children.
But even if she doesn’t, she’ll be reminded of the joy she brought into your life.
And even if she doesn’t save the note, she’ll know you cared enough to remember those details and share them with her.
12. “Let me tell you what I value most.”
Share your core values with her. Let her know what’s most important to you in life and how that’s influenced your choices, especially as you’ve grown in self-knowledge.
Encourage her to do the same and identify her own personal values rather than simply echoing someone else’s. If you have a personal mission or vision statement, share it with her.
13. “Sometimes, my love for you scares me.”
Let her know you get scared and be honest about why you’re not quite ready to let her go out into the world. With all the dangers in it, what loving parent wouldn’t be nervous? It doesn’t mean you’re intent on holding her back.
But she’ll appreciate knowing you love her so much you’d do anything to ensure her safety if you could. You won’t lock her in a tower, but you’ll be there for her when she needs you.
Ready to write your letter to your daughter?
Now that you’ve looked through all 13 sentiments, which are you most likely to include in a letter to your daughter?
As with any first draft, if you have time, take a break from your finished letter, so you can edit it another day before giving it to your daughter.
But don’t hold onto it until it’s “perfect,” because perfection is not what your daughter needs.
She needs to know you love her enough to risk sounding sappy, paranoid, or ridiculous.
Give her that.
